Those Broken Bonds
by it'sbloomhere
Summary: What happens when even Fate is confused?


**Disclaimer: I do not own 'Secret Circle' or any of the characters of the book. They all belong to Lisa Jane Smith.**

* * *

_The bond starts to break…_

"Cassie!" Adam called her, climbing up the stairs to Diana's room. The door was closed. He cautiously pushed it open and whispered, peering in, "Cassie?"

A brown haired girl with caramel highlights in her curls lay sleeping on a couch, an older-looking girl cradling her head on her lap. The older-looking girl was sleeping as well, her head lolling on the head rest of the couch, her sunlight hair spilling over her shoulders. They both had content happy smiles on their faces. The younger girl's hand was curled towards the older one's hand; the latter had another hand resting protectively on the former's body.

Adam swallowed. Diana's face looked so… beautiful. She had a happy peaceful look on her face: one she always wore when she was near a loved one. She used to wear it when she was near him. Used to…

And now whenever she was near him she'd have masked fear and sorrow lurking in the green depths of her eyes. The love she felt for both of them, her younger adopted 'sister' Cassie and her ex-boyfriend, himself, it surpassed everything in her. She had stood aside to let Cassie and Adam share their clandestine love. To share their soul-mate bond.

Then why did he feel so miserable when he saw her? He longed to see that familiar twinkle in her eye whenever she looked up at him; a soft-spoken whisper of love that went unshared vocally, but which was secretly acknowledged by both. He longed to hear the sound of her delighted laughter whenever she saw him or heard one of his lame attempts at jokes. He longed to hold her close to him and tell her that everything was going to be fine, that he was here, that she never had to be sad, ever.

But he couldn't. She would never let him. Because he was supposed to love her 'little sister'.

But he didn't even know now if he loved Cassie or not. Yes, he loved her and cared for her, but nowadays he'd been more and more concerned about Diana than Cassie. How different it all was barely a few months ago. He had loved both the girls and had thought of them on equal levels. But he had always somehow felt that he and Cassie were meant to be. What he didn't understand was why now he felt that he loved Diana somehow more than Cassie.

Diana's eyes opened to reveal to clear pools of green. The two pairs of eyes stared into each other, stormy-blue and fresh forest green. For one second the green contained surprise and pure love and the blue reflected the emotions; then a split-second later, pain blossomed in the dark green eyes. The delicately pale eye-lids shut briefly to hide the green orbs and reopened to show a forced calm.

"I'll wake her," she murmured softly as her eyes turned away from him towards the girl on her lap. He suddenly felt something hurting inside him. "Cassie, sweetheart, wake up" she breathed, shaking the girl gently. Cassie mumbled in her sleep and turned slightly, burying her face in Diana's lap. Diana sighed and shook her gently again. "Cassie, Adam's here," she said, slightly more firmly.

Cassie wriggled and mumbled "five minutes" before resuming her deep breathing. Diana chuckled bemusedly and looked up… and stopped laughing. Again, raw pain filled her eyes and the two held one second staring at each other. Then she looked away and gently placed Cassie on the couch, carefully getting up so as not to wake her. She pushed past Adam, muttering, "I'll go get breakfast."

Adam stood stock still. He looked at Cassie's sleeping form for a few seconds before walking over to her and sitting beside her, gently stroking her hair. He traced her cheek with his index finger and then sighed heavily. "I love you Cassie," he whispered to the sleeping girl. "I love you but I love Diana too. What should I do?" He got no answer. He wasn't expecting one. He got up and went downstairs into the kitchen. Diana was bending over the stove, increasing the gas, and her curtain of light hair hid her face. She straightened up and flipped the pan with a well practiced hand. She started to pour syrup on the pancake, and then she spotted him.

The usual pain flooded her eyes but she was quicker this time. She smiled brightly at him.

"Hi Adam." Her voice was neutral.

"Diana." He nodded. Unfortunately, his tone wasn't as effective. Worry colored her face.

"Is something wrong…?" She was interrupted by the loud ringing of the phone. She shot the pancake a desperate look; understanding what she meant, Adam walked over to her and took the pan out of her hand. He smiled tightly and said, "You can get the phone now." Diana peered at him cautiously before running lightly into the hall. Adam heard her pick the phone up and answer with a light "Hello. Meade residence."

He flipped the pancake. Diana laughed softly. He tried to concentrate on the pan. "It's quite alright." She said to the caller. She laughed again, this time a bit amused. He flipped the pan again; the pancake went up and came down on his face. He yelled loudly.

Immediately, Diana came rushing back to the kitchen. When she saw him on the floor, clutching his face, she gasped.

"Adam, are you alright?" He groaned at her rhetorical question.

"Fine. The pancake was too hot, that's all." He muttered, still holding his face. Diana laughed and gently pried his fingers away from his face. She slowly bent to see his wounds. "Come on, let me see…" she muttered. Adam let his fingers fall from his face. Diana gently probed the side of his face. Her hair fell into curtains on either side of her face, its tresses reaching her elbows. They were very close to each other, but only Adam noticed; Diana was concentrating on examining his injuries.

He stared at Diana, whose eyes were concernedly surveying the red splotch on the side of his face. "Hmm," he heard her murmur to herself "minor damage. I think my crystals can heal it completely. But I don't know if I have enough power… hmm, it'll have to do." Then she unconsciously brought her eyes back to meet his.

Her breath caught in her throat. Bewilderment filled her eyes as she continued to stare into his storm filled ones: she knew she should move away but she couldn't. Adam's eyes somehow found themselves fixated on her rose-colored lips. Diana continued to gaze at him until a forbidden whisper trickled into her: "_Cassie_…"

She jerked out of her trance instantaneously. _Was this how you felt Cassie, when you were the one hiding your feelings?_ She thought wryly. She stood up abruptly and left the room saying "I'll treat your wound now."

Adam felt as if he'd been slapped in the face. He stared after Diana, completely baffled by what had taken place between them. For a second there, it was as if Cassie had never come. For a slight moment, he was still in love Diana and only her. What just happened? He shook his head in confusion. Diana reentered the room, a smile fixedly forced onto her face, her eyes averted. She cleared her throat. "Please stand up."

Adam obeyed her mutely. She hesitantly drew close to him and pressed an ice-pack to his face. She closed her eyes as if needing to concentrate to withdraw her magic; but it was a façade. Diana was trained in healing. She never needed to draw her power; it was there all the time. Closing her eyes was just so that she wouldn't have to look at him. And Adam knew that. He stood still, silently examining her beautiful face, while she remained holding the pack to his injury, eyes closed, head bent. After a few minutes she drew away. She stepped back at least 5 feet and then opened her eyes to look at him. Her eyes pointedly probed the side of his face, evading his eyes. She nodded satisfactorily, "There. You're okay." She smiled and turned away from him undoubtedly about to leave once more.

"Diana." The sound of her name uttered by him stopped her dead in her tracks. Adam watched her freeze. She turned rigidly and smiled in a detached manner. "Yes?" she enquired warily. Adam continued to look at her, drinking her in. In two steps he moved forward so that he was only a few inches away from her.

Diana gasped at his abrupt closeness. She made to move back but Adam grabbed her by her arms to hold her in place. Unwillingly, she dragged her eyes up. "What are you doing?" she whispered softly. Her heart was thudding in her chest; it hurt. He leaned forward; she leaned back. "I love you." He admitted in a broken voice. Diana's heart seemed to freeze and then continue its rhythmic thumping.

She shook her head vehemently. "You can't love me. You love Cassie. You're her soul mate." She argued, her own words ripping and shredding her heart. He nodded in agreement; he leaned closer. Diana's breath caught in her throat as she stared up at him with wide eyes: she could see every fleck of silver and grey and black in his blue eyes. "But I love you too. I can't help it…" he murmured. This time, Diana was speechless. She couldn't utter a single sound. "All this while," he continued brokenly "All this time, ever since you gave me to her… I can't stop thinking about you. I was happy, ecstatic, when I thought that I would be able to love Cassie without hurting you… without going behind your back. But now…" He drew a deep breath.

"I don't know what's happening. I can still feel our bond, Cassie and mine. But for some reason… it's not pulling me to her as usual. It's like… it's like it's weakening. I feel as if the bond is breaking. I still love Cassie… a lot" She never thought words could hurt her this much.

"But," he continued "But I don't think about her all the time. I…I think about you." He finished. He looked into Diana's green eyes sadly. She gazed back.

"Diana, I just want to know if you still love me." But how could she speak the truth? How could she hurt her own little sister… her best friend? She was not the type to betray the one she loved. But… how can she lie? Diana looked at him silently. He looked at her for a while and then let go. Taking a step back, just allowing a little space in between them, he asked "Diana, do you love me?"

He got no answer. He started to feel his chest hurting again. "Do you still love me?" he asked once more.

She was silent.

"Do you still love me?" he repeated, plead and desperation cracking into his tone. Pain and frustration flashed into her grass-colored eyes. "I…" She couldn't go on. Oh, for the life of her, she couldn't go on.

"Diana…"

"Adam, I…"

"Morning!" Cassie bounced into the room, her face fresh and clean. Adam and Diana jumped back a little: Diana took over efficiently.

"Good morning, lazy bones." She grinned at Cassie. Cassie grinned at her before going over to Adam and smiling up at him. "Morning Adam." She leaned forward to give him a light kiss on his cheek. He remained frozen. Cassie didn't seem to notice: she merely sat down at the table and started eating her pancakes. "Good morning Cassie." Adam replied after a while, very softly.

His eyes flashed up to meet Diana's. Her look was clear.

_I can't hurt her._

He understood.

* * *

_Let the chains go…_

The waves crashed down on the beach. A light breeze played tag with the leaves of the trees. She watched the withered excuse of life flutter down to the ground. Tenderly she plucked the dry brown leaf from the ground and inspected it carefully. The veins made an intricate pattern on the leaf, the edges soft but jagged.

"Diana?" She turned at the sound of her name. Diana smiled at Cassie as she came towards her, followed by her two other friends Laurel Quincey and Melanie Glaser. They were all smiling happily at her. She smiled back. By the amount of training she was getting, pretty soon she could be an accomplished actress.

"Hey."

"We were going to go to the mall. You want to come with?" Laurel said brightly.

She shook her head in response. "I just want to stay at home today, okay?" Cassie and Laurel looked at her for a few seconds before shrugging and making their way to the garage where their car was; Melanie stayed behind to stand beside her. "Diana, are you alright?" Melanie asked, not looking at her friend. Diana was inspecting the leaf again.

"I'm fine." She replied neutrally. But she knew it wouldn't fool Melanie. Although Cassie was her best friend, Melanie was her oldest friend and knew everything about her; she could understand her signals.

"Right." Melanie said dryly. The two girls stood side by side with each other, the fair one gazing at the leaf in her hand, her friend staring up at the sky. Diana sighed after a while. "You know I'm lying…"

"Yeah." Melanie smiled at her. Diana laughed but then turned quiet. "Mel…I'm glad I let Adam and Cassie be together. But sometimes I feel…"

"Jealous?" her friend applied a sardonic smile curving her lips. Diana smiled sadly.

"Yes."

"We knew it would be hard. You can hang on. You're strong enough."

"I know." Diana answered quietly. A breeze blew over them, playing with the two girls' hair. The trees' soft whisper seemed to echo Diana's mind "_I wish…wish…wish…_"

"I just wish I was sure about this." She finished softly. Melanie stayed quiet. So did she.

The two girls remained standing, linking hands, one comforting the other.

O~O~O

Adam had been spending a lot of time alone nowadays. The place he went to escape was a small corner in the woods, tucked away out of sight. It was a very small clearing with a tiny rickety shed built a little on the side. He had built a fire a few feet away from the shed, right in the middle of the clearing, and pulled up logs to align the fire, as seats. He now sat on one of them, gazing up at the stars overhead. His mind was totally blanked except for random things like "It's really cold tonight" or "Hmm, what was that?" or "I love this place no one knows about it except me." But he suddenly remembered that someone else did know about his hide-out; the very person who had helped him make it. His childhood best friend. His childhood sweetheart. Diana.

Thinking about her very name set off a whirl of emotions and memories in Adam. He remembered when they were about 8-years-old, eating ice-creams. Diana's favorite flavors were chocolate and ripple. And then when they were making and playing with kites. Diana had always made hers with a white shirt and given them colorful tails. And when they had played hide-and-seek and she had gotten lost. She was hiding under a bush by which he had walked past twenty-six times without knowing she was there. And when they had made this, their 'secret hide-out'; they were only 10 back then. They had spent day after day, pulling and pushing the logs in place, cleaning up the shed so that they could store a few things there without being afraid of maggots and so on and on. Everything, everywhere, she was there. She was always woven in here and there, always a part of his memories. The picture of her smile seemed to be pasted to his mind's eye.

"I knew you would be here." Her voice called out, a smile plainly heard in it. Adam turned to the sound of her voice; she was standing at the edge of the clearing, watching him, smiling. When he turned to look at her, she came forward to stand in the firelight. She was wearing a light beige colored shirt and some grey flannel trousers, her hair hanging loose around her shoulders. She smiled at him.

"What are you doing here?" he asked. He was puzzled.

"I needed to explain something. To me and to you." She replied. She was scared. He nodded and gestured at the log in front of him. She sat down gingerly, as if unsure of how to proceed. "It's really cold out." She said, avoiding the main reason she was here. She rubbed her arms, looking away from Adam as he watched her intently. He got up; that caught her attention. He walked over to the shed and took out a big dark jacket from somewhere and walked back. "Here," he said handing the jacket to her. She took it gratefully, wrapping herself into its warm folds. It smelled like him; pine wood and autumn leaves and stardust. She breathed in: she could have survived on his smell alone given the chance.

"Go on," Adam said, his blue eyes watching her every move. She gulped. "Adam…" For some reason she couldn't go on. The words stuck in her throat, itching to get out but unable to get out all the same.

He sighed. He felt like he was fighting a battle that had too many reasons to start for. "Do you want me to tell you something?" he asked her, looking straight into her emerald eyes. Diana stared back and then nodded.

"I love you." He said softly "So much. And I love Cassie as well. But if I had the choice? I would choose to have never met her and to keep being with you for the rest of my life." He finished with a firm tone, looking into her bewildered happy eyes. "So what do you say to that?"

Diana looked at Adam for a long time. He waited. She smiled to herself secretly; he had always waited for her. She carefully got up and walked over to sit beside him. She was fully aware that he was following her with his eyes. And she was equally fully aware of the consequences of what she was about to do. But the truth was…

"I love you," she replied to his unspoken plea. "I always have, and I always will. If we fight, then I'd rather fight with you instead of against or for. If we stand, I'd rather be beside you. And if I have to hurt my best friend, I'd rather she never existed. It's cruel and traitorous and a complete _bitch_" she spat out the last word with frustration "but it's true. I can't change that and I won't try to."

He held her close. She lost herself. They were together. That was all that mattered because… because it was the truth.

And they couldn't ever change that.

* * *

_As we let go, we must hold on…_

Her garden was flourishing. Grandma's herbs, and her own many flower bushes, all of them sweet-peas or petunias, made the garden beautiful and unique. The light fragrance of her flowers floated about in the air. Her flowers waved their pink petals in the soft breeze, and their leaves danced with them. Cassie kept her eyes trained on the lighter colored veins on the petals and leaves. She didn't want to look at him yet.

"It's okay," she kept saying over and over again. But Adam kept on persisting. Why? God knew. All she wanted was for him just to stop with his sorry's and his I-love-you's.

"Stop it Adam," Cassie said determinedly staring straight into his blue-grey eyes, not holding back any emotions: she let him see her pain, her realization, her love, and her acceptance. She understood.

"But…" he said sadly.

"No buts. Just shut up okay? I get it. You love Diana. I knew that already."

"But I loved you too," Adam said, looking at her pleadingly. She looked back, her eyes doing the questioning.

"He did," a voice said quietly. Cassie turned around.

Diana.

_Oh Diana how could you do this? I love him…_

"And I love him too," she said, her green eyes communicating with Cassie's silver-blue ones. _But you betrayed me. And I trusted you…_

_I'm sorry_, she replied, her eyes conveying all her regret and apology, _I did uphold your trust. I didn't want to hurt you, I swear. Oh I love you so much Cassie… But I don't want to give up Adam… I'm so sorry…_

"You should be," Cassie said, turning away from her best friend to stare at the green leaves of her pink petunias.

"Cassie…"

"No Diana. I want you to listen to me." Cassie turned away from the fragile veins she'd been tracing with her eyes to look straight into Diana's green eyes. "When I first met Adam I knew immediately that I would fall in love with him. Maybe not consciously, but subconsciously, I knew. And when I came here to find out that he was _yours_, I backed off. Not because I wanted to, but because I loved _you_. But I somehow knew that even if Adam and I were allowed to be together… I knew that you… and he… you were too…" Sobs shook her body as she bent down, gripping her arms. Tears of all the pain she was hiding broke through and poured down her cheeks. Adam made to go towards her but Diana shook her head in a silent _No_.

"Cassie…" Those blue eyes looked up accusingly. "I love you Cassie." And she enveloped her best friend with all the love and regret she felt.

Cassie looked over Diana's shoulder, her tears still spilling over her cheeks, lips, and met Adam's eyes. She felt a soft crackle through their bond. All of a sudden, she had that vision again, just like the first time they met. This time she saw the silver lining as thin as a string of web. It was waving weakly between them, hardly there, just a ghost of the bond that was once as strong as chains. Then she heard him.

_I love you Cassie_. Three words. As true and as untrue as the southern winds that had blown the storms on their side.

_I love you too Adam_. Same but with acceptance on her side. As she looked into his eyes, eyes that were almost the same color as hers, a face flashed into her mind. A handsome face with dark silver eyes and scorching gaze. A face holding bitter emotion and hurt at her choice.

Nick.

_Nick had gone through this_, she suddenly realized. When she had chosen Adam over him, he had been the one to feel betrayed and anguished. _But he had stood aside so that I could be with Adam, _she thought_, He had not stopped loving her, but he had stood aside all the same._

Why? Why Nick? Why didn't you fight for me? Why did you leave to let _him_ take what you could have?

_Because he wanted you to be happy_, her inner voice echoed. Her eyes widened with realization and shock. _He wanted me to be _happy_. Is that what I want for Adam and Diana?_

_Yes_, her inner voice said. You love them too much to hurt them by standing in their way of love. _Just as Diana had felt when she found out. And she had stood aside. Can you?_

_Can I?_ She asked herself, doubting her strength.

_Yes you can_. This time it was Nick's voice that spoke; his strength that held her; his love that led her. And then, she was sure of her decision.

Cassie gently moved out of Diana's arms. She stood up, drying her tears at the same time. She looked at her best-friend and her… friend.

"I give you permission. I love you. Just please don't let me down." With that she left; left them to sort out their thoughts in her garden.

* * *

_The happy ending…_

On the roads were playing two children, a boy and a girl. The girl had fair hair and the boy red. Suddenly, the girl spoke up.

"We're gonna be best friends forever right Adam?"

The boy nodded.

"Yeah, of course, Di. We'll have rocky roads of course, but we're soul-mates. And that means we're meant for each other." The boy spoke with such conviction that the girl was immediately reassured.

"That's great."

They grinned at each other.

_Sometimes, soul mates can be mistaken. Love is not as simple as that._

Diana and Adam played on, oblivious to their bond, tighter than ever.


End file.
